Why Overthinking Makes You More Confused, Not Clear
- Monica Kalra
- Nov 22
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 23
I used to believe that if I just thought harder,
I’d eventually land on the right answer.
But here’s the truth I’ve seen again and again in myself and in every brilliant woman I work with:
Overthinking doesn’t bring clarity.
It buries it.
It’s like zooming in on a map so closely that you can’t see the road anymore.
You’re still looking at the right place just from the wrong distance.
And the more you zoom in… the more lost you feel.
Why Your Brain Gets More Foggy, Not More Focused
Neuroscience explains this beautifully.
When you start looping in your thoughts:
You activate the brain’s default mode network, the part associated with rumination.
Cortisol rises.
Your system shifts into protection instead of decision.
And clarity shuts down.
So it’s not that you’re “bad at making decisions."
It’s that your brain is doing exactly what it does when it senses uncertainty, it protects you by slowing everything down.
Overthinking is the symptom, not the problem.
A Real Story and a Turning Point
A client of mine (composite to protect privacy) came to me exhausted.
On paper she was high-functioning:
leading teams, managing projects, constantly “figuring things out.”
Behind the scenes, she was stuck in a loop:
journaling pages every night
planning the same plans
over-analysing every choice
asking five different friends for advice
rereading old notes hoping something would “click”
She told me, “I’ve been thinking about this for months. I should be clear by now.”
But thinking was the very thing keeping her confused.
So I asked her one simple question:
“What are you avoiding saying out loud because it might require change?”
She paused.
Then she said the truth she had been circling for months; in one sentence.
Within 48 hours, she knew her next step.
Not because she tried harder…
but because she got honest.
Honesty creates clarity.
Not thinking.
What the Research Shows
Harvard researchers found that 47% of our mental time is spent in thought loops, replaying the past or projecting into the future.
And the more we overthink, the stronger the link becomes with anxiety.
It becomes a cycle:
Confusion → overthinking → more confusion → self-doubt.
It’s not intelligence.
It’s not personality.
It’s a system stuck in protection mode.
One Line That Always Brings People Back
Tara Mohr said something that has stayed with me for years:
“Clarity doesn’t come from thinking more, it comes from listening differently.”
Different listening means:
listening to your body
listening to the subtle discomfort
listening to the truth you’ve been avoiding
listening to what no longer feels aligned
Clarity is felt, not forced.
If You’ve Been Thinking Harder… There’s a Reason You Still Don’t Feel Clear
You’re not failing.
Your system is protecting you.
And there is a way to shift from protection to clarity: gently, without pressure.
That’s exactly what I’m teaching in next week’s live masterclass:
3 Reasons You Feel Stuck And How to Move With Clarity Again
Thursday 4th December 2025 at 7:00 pm Melbourne (AEDT) Live on Zoom
If you’re tired of circling the same decisions and want clarity that actually sticks, this session will help you finally understand:
why your system shuts down
why thinking more makes things worse
and how to get your clarity back without forcing anything
You can register here, I’d love to have you there.
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