What if You’re Not Indecisive?
- Monica Kalra
- Aug 9
- 3 min read
A new way to understand why you feel unsure or stuck
You’re sitting in the car outside the office.
Your hand is on the door handle but you’re not moving.
There’s an email waiting to be sent.
A conversation you’ve been avoiding.
A decision that feels harder than it should.
You’ve gone over it a hundred times in your head.
You’ve weighed the pros and cons.
And still… you don’t move.
Instead, a quiet voice inside says:
Why can’t I just decide? What’s wrong with me?”
If you’ve ever found yourself frozen like this, not because you don’t care, but because everything feels like too much, this is for you.
Why this happens (and why it’s not your fault)
Most brilliant women, like you, don’t call yourself overwhelmed.
You just push through.
Even when you’re exhausted.
Even when you’re spinning.
Even when you haven’t heard yourself think in days.
You tell yourself:
“I should have figured this out by now.”
“Other people have it harder.”
“I don’t have time to fall apart.”
But here’s what’s really going on:
It’s not that you can’t decide.
It’s that you’ve been carrying so many voices: pressure, responsibility, expectations that you’ve stopped hearing your own.
Sometimes, you say yes when you want to say no because it feels safer.
Sometimes, you shut down because it’s too hard to get it wrong again.
Sometimes, you stay busy because slowing down would mean feeling everything.
And slowly, all of this piles up... until decisions feel foggy.
Until your body says, “I can’t think right now.”
This isn’t failure.
It’s a sign your system is overloaded, not that you’re doing anything wrong.
“When we have to choose between being true to ourselves or being accepted, we often abandon ourselves without realising it.” - Dr. Gabor Maté
And that self-abandonment?
It doesn’t look like chaos.
It looks like control.
It looks like coping
.It looks like holding it all together at the cost of yourself.
It’s not that you’re indecisive.
It’s that your system has learned to:
Keep the peace, even when it costs you
Avoid making the wrong choice, even when it holds your life back.
Work harder, instead of pausing to feel what’s true for you
A recent study found that women are 3x more likely to doubt their decisions in high-pressure environments not because they lack ability, but because of the pressure to constantly get it right.(Source: American Psychological Association, 2023)
What you can do instead
When you’ve been living in pressure for a long time, clarity doesn’t come from thinking harder.
It comes from slowing down enough to feel what’s true for you.
Not to rush a decision.
Not to fix it all.
But to remember that you still have an inner compass, it’s just harder to hear right now.
And you can learn to hear it again.
Start with the Reset.
If your mind feels foggy and you're caught in the spin of overthinking or pressure, this 3-minute guided audio will help you reconnect with your own voice.
You can listen to it here → https://www.shevive.com.au/3-minute-reset
You don’t need to figure everything out today.
You just need a small moment of stillness, one that’s just for you.
Because it’s not that you don’t know what you want.
You’ve just been carrying too much noise to hear it clearly.
And that gets to change, one reset at a time.
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