How Future Faking Keeps Women Trapped in Long-Term Relationships
- Monica Kalra
- Jun 21
- 3 min read
You’ve been together for years.
You’ve built a home.
You’ve shared memories.
You’ve made sacrifices.
But every time you think about leaving, something stops you.
A moment of kindness.
A deep conversation.
A promise that “things will be different.”
And for a little while… they are.
Until they’re not.
That’s not love.
That’s the cycle.
Most people think love bombing only happens at the start of a relationship.
They picture whirlwind romance, flowers, constant affection.
But for some women, it doesn’t stop there.
It keeps happening, just in smaller, more subtle ways.
Just enough to keep you in the marriage.
It’s not just love bombing.
It’s future faking and it’s what keeps many women stuck for years.
💡 What is Future Faking in Long-Term Relationships?
It’s when someone keeps making promises they don’t follow through on, especially after you’ve hit breaking point.
It sounds like:
"Let’s take a trip — just the two of us.”
"I’ll book a counselling session next week.”
"You’re right… I haven’t been present. I’ll change.”
And for a moment, you feel seen.
You feel chosen again.
But then the pattern repeats.
Disappointment. Withdrawal. Silence.
Until the next promise arrives.
🔄 Why It Feels So Hard to Leave
And just when you’re ready to give up,
he becomes the man you hoped he’d be.
Not for long.
Just long enough.
This pattern isn’t always on purpose.
Sometimes, they really do believe they’ll change.
But when the actions don’t match the words,
it still hurts
and you’re the one left holding all the pain.
You’re not imagining it.
These are real moments.
But moments don’t make a relationship.
Consistency does.
A relationship that only improves when you threaten to leave
is not a safe one.
🚩 6 Signs You’re Caught in a Long-Term Future Faking Cycle
He talks about change but only when you’re about to walk away.
He follows through just enough to reset the tension.
He makes big promises; therapy, holidays, “fresh starts” but they don’t last.
You feel more confused after conversations, not clearer.
You hold on to glimpses of who he was or who he could be.
You keep telling yourself: “Let’s just wait a little longer.”
If this is your reality,
you’re not overreacting.
You’ve just been trained to see the hope
instead of the harm.
🧭 You Don’t Need a Diagnosis, You Need Clarity
You don’t have to wait for things to get worse.
You don’t need a label to justify your pain.
You don’t need permission to want peace.
Sometimes, the hardest part is not the behaviour itself,
it’s the constant hope
that this time will be different.
💬 Ready to get clearer?
Where Are You in Your Relationship Journey?
This free 2-minute quiz helps you uncover what’s keeping you feeling confused, stuck, or lost —
whether you’re struggling in your relationship, unsure whether to stay or leave, or finding your way after a separation or divorce.
It gently guides you toward feeling clearer, stronger, and more in charge of your life again.
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