The Missing Ingredient in Decision-Making

There’s a moment many professional women recognise.

You can see the options clearly.

You’ve thought them through.

And yet, when it comes time to choose, something holds you back.

This isn’t rare. And it isn’t a weakness.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that what’s often called decision fatigue is less about the number of choices and more about prolonged mental and emotional load.

In simple terms, it’s not the decision itself that feels hard.

It’s what’s been carried before the choice is made.

When this happens, the inner response is often harsh.

You wonder why something that should be simple feels heavy.

You question your confidence.

You assume you’re overthinking.

What’s usually happening is quieter than that.

Over time, when you’ve had to keep going without enough internal recovery: meeting expectations, managing complexity, holding things together, your system becomes more cautious.

Not because you’re incapable.

But because you're not grounded.

You still know how to decide.

You just don’t feel anchored enough to move.

When groundedness drops, decision-making changes.

You may notice:

• hesitation where there used to be clarity

• a growing need for reassurance

• a sense of “I’ll wait a little longer” without knowing what you’re waiting for

This isn’t indecision.

It’s self-protection doing its job.

I see this pattern often in women who are still functioning well on the outside.

Nothing has collapsed.

But internally, the margin for pressure has narrowed.

Trying to force a decision at this point usually backfires.

What helps instead is restoring enough grounding to hear yourself again.

When that returns, decisions don’t feel effortless, they feel possible.

If you’re sitting with a decision that feels heavier than it should, start here:

Instead of asking, “What’s the right choice?”

Ask, “What would help me feel grounded enough to choose?”

That question shifts the work from pushing forward to stabilising what’s underneath.

If you’d like support in understanding why you aren't feeling grounded and what’s most likely to restore it, you can take the Reignite Your Spark Assessment.

Clarity doesn’t come from pressure.

It comes from being grounded first.