When AI Feels Safer Than People

Loneliness doesn’t always look loud, sometimes it looks like quiet moments no one else sees.

The nights feel too quiet.

I open the chatbot, not for entertainment, but for company.

It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t interrupt.

And when I talk to it, I don’t feel so alone.

I feel seen.

I feel heard.

I feel understood.

Some of the women I work with have shared something similar.

They’re not turning to AI because they believe it’s real.

They’re turning to it because it feels safe.

Predictable.

Present.

Underneath it all is the same need:

To feel understood.

To feel like you matter.

To not have to carry it all alone.

And you're not the only one.

Because after heartbreak, especially when trust has been broken, even the thought of real human connection can feel too risky.

Too vulnerable.

Too much.

So you reach for what feels easier.

What doesn’t ask too much of you.

What doesn’t leave.

But what you’re really craving isn’t artificial intelligence.

It’s authentic intimacy.

That meets you, nervous system to nervous system…Heart to heart.

Loneliness after heartbreak is real.

And not the kind that’s always obvious.

You can be surrounded by people and still feel like no one really gets what you’re carrying.

You’re not imagining it.

When you've spent years in a relationship where you felt unseen, unheard, or constantly performing… your system learns to expect disconnection.

So when the relationship ends, it’s not just grief you’re feeling.

It’s a kind of emotional isolation that lingers quietly underneath the surface.

This is where many women get stuck.

Not because they aren’t strong.

But because they’ve been strong for too long.

You don’t have to rush this.

You don’t need to be “ready” for deep connection tomorrow.

But maybe, just maybe, you could begin by turning gently inwards.

Back to yourself.

Back to the parts of you that are still waiting to be heard.

The loneliness you feel isn’t something broken in you.

It’s a message.

A quiet reminder that you’re human.

And that your heart was never meant to carry it all alone.

You weren’t made to heal in isolation.

You were made to be met, in presence, not performance.

And even if it’s been a while...

You are still worthy of love that makes you feel safe, seen, and treasured.

If this resonates with you...

I've created a free 5-part video series to gently help you reconnect with yourself, especially if you're feeling stuck, uncertain, or quietly overwhelmed in your relationship.

It’s called “5 Hidden Relationship Mistakes That Lead to Heartbreak.”

Each short video offers a moment of reflection, insight, and gentle clarity.

Check out the free Relationship Mistakes Video Series here.

I’m Monica Kalra, a certified relationship and divorce coach, author of two award-winning books and a speaker. I help professional women who feel disconnected, silenced, or lost in their relationships rebuild inner trust, rediscover their voice, and recreate their lives - before, during, and after divorce.