How to Co-Parent With a Difficult Ex (without losing your peace)

Let’s be honest - co-parenting with an ex who is difficult, uncooperative, or emotionally charged is not easy.

It can feel like walking on eggshells. Like you’re the only one trying to keep things stable for the sake of the children, while the other parent plays by their own rules or worse, no rules at all.

If you’re nodding right now, I want you to know: You're not alone. And you're not crazy for feeling tired, overwhelmed, or even helpless at times.

What does a difficult co-parent look like?

If your ex constantly stirs up a conflict or refuses to collaborate, you may see some of these signs:

✔️ They use your kids as messengers instead of speaking to you directly

✔️ They ignore agreements or cancel plans without notice

✔️ They keep important information about school, health, or activities from you

✔️ They badmouth you in front of the children

✔️ They have totally different rules in their home, confusing your child

And all of this takes a toll - not just on you, but also on your child.

So what can you do when the other parent won’t meet you halfway?

Here’s what I gently remind my clients:

You can’t control your ex. But you can control how you respond, protect your peace, and show up for your child in the most grounded and loving way.

Here’s how:

1. Write everything down

Keep records of any communication, agreements, and incidents. If things escalate, having a clear paper trail protects you and helps you stay objective.

2. Use written communication

Text messages, co-parenting apps, or email are often better than verbal exchanges. They reduce the emotional intensity and create clarity.

3. Set emotional and practical boundaries

Decide what conversations you will engage in and which ones you won’t. Keep bringing it back to what’s best for the child. This isn’t about winning. It’s about your child's wellbeing.

4. Stay child-focused, at all times

Before replying to a message or getting into a back-and-forth, pause and ask yourself: “Is this response for my child’s wellbeing or my own frustration?”

5. Get support

You don’t have to carry this alone. A coach, therapist, or mediator can help you through this chaos and help you stay grounded.

Your peace matters - because your child’s emotional safety starts with yours.

You don’t need to do it perfectly. You just need to be present, consistent, and emotionally available for your child. That is more powerful than anything your ex can try to undo.

If co-parenting has left you drained or constantly on edge, I want to invite you into a safe space to explore what’s possible.

Monica Kalra

I’m Monica Kalra, a certified relationship and divorce coach. I help women rebuild their confidence and reclaim their inner power even in the messiness of co-parenting.

If you're tired of the conflict and ready for live in peace, let’s talk. Book your free Solutions Session and let’s find a way forward together. [Schedule Your Free Session Here]

P.S. Has co-parenting been harder than you ever imagined? Drop a YES or NO in the comments, I’d love to hear your experience.