Not Burnout: Why You Might Be Stuck in an Identity Misfit
- Monica Kalra
- Oct 4
- 2 min read
Updated: Oct 5
Burnout gets blamed for everything.
Too much stress. Too many hours. Not enough rest.
But what if you’re not exhausted, just… disconnected?
You show up. You deliver. You tick the boxes.
But it feels like you’re moving through life on autopilot.
Not broken. Not failing.
Just not fully you.
That’s not burnout.
That’s an Identity Misfit.
What is Identity Misfit?
Psychologists use this term to describe when the role you’re playing no longer matches the person you’ve become.
It’s not about workload.
It’s about alignment.
Think of it like this:
Burnout = your body says, “I can’t keep going at this pace.”
Identity Misfit = your deeper self says, “This version of me doesn’t fit anymore.”
Signs You’re in Identity Misfit
You perform well, but feel flat inside.
You keep going, but it doesn’t feel like choice.
You’re praised for things you no longer value.
You live on autopilot: present in body, absent in spark.
Why This Matters
When we mistake identity misfit for burnout, we reach for the wrong solution.
Burnout responds to rest, lighter loads, and recovery.
Identity misfit responds to renewal, clarity, and a fresh definition of success.
No amount of sleep fixes the ache of living a story that no longer feels like yours.
Gallup’s global data shows only 23% of employees feel engaged at work.
The rest aren’t all burnt out; they’re disconnected.
This is identity misfit at scale.
Professionals delivering results on autopilot, while their true selves are quietly slipping out of the picture.
If you stopped performing a version of success that no longer fits,
what would you choose instead?
The opposite of burnout is energy.
The opposite of identity misfit is aliveness.
And naming the difference is the first step to reclaiming it.
Where in your life are you living on autopilot and where do you want to feel alive again?
✨ Want more clarity? Take the free Reignite Your Spark Assessment to discover what’s really draining your energy and the first step to getting your spark back.
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