Feeling Alone Even While Still in the Relationship

Sitting side by side yet miles apart

Have you ever sat next to someone you love… and still felt completely alone?

You’re sharing a home, a bed, a life.

But somehow, your heart feels invisible in the space you call home.

You’re not single.

But you feel unseen.

Unheld.

Unmet.

For some, Mother’s Day is filled with flowers and warm hugs.

But for others, it quietly magnifies what’s missing —

Not the people…

But the connection.

With the people they love the most.

…their partner

…or their children.

Because emotional loneliness isn’t about being physically alone.

It’s about feeling invisible in the very relationship that’s meant to hold you.

You stop sharing your truth because it always leads to disconnection.

You stop asking for anything because you’ve been made to feel like you don’t matter.

And slowly, you stop hoping because disappointment hurts more than silence.

This is emotional loneliness.

And it runs deeper than we often admit.

Psychologist John Gottman talks about “emotional bids” - the small ways we reach for connection.

When those bids are ignored again and again, we stop reaching.

Not because we’ve stopped caring but because our nervous system starts to protect us.

We freeze.

We fawn.

We go quiet just to avoid another rupture.

Esther Perel says it best: “Loneliness is not the absence of people, it’s the absence of connection.”

So if this post is stirring something deep inside you… please hear this:

You’re not needy.

You’re wired for connection.

Wanting to be seen, held, and emotionally met isn’t selfish.

It’s human.

If your needs feel like a burden, the relationship may not feel emotionally safe.

And that’s not your fault.

🌿 If you’ve been holding it in for too long…

Please know this:

Your feelings are valid.

And your longing to be emotionally met?

It’s your inner wisdom calling you back to yourself.

That’s why I created something to help.

🎥 Free Video Series:

5 Hidden Relationship Mistakes That Lead to Heartbreak

Watch it in your own time, whenever you’re ready.

https://www.shevive.com.au/5-hidden-relationship-mistakes

With love,

Monica x

I’m Monica Kalra, a certified relationship and divorce coach, author of two award-winning books and a speaker. I help professional women who feel disconnected, silenced, or lost in their relationships rebuild inner trust, rediscover their voice, and recreate their lives - before, during, and after divorce.